Burke staying in Anaheim

I'm a Leafs fan and a Leafs fan only until the day I die (which will be this summer, by the way, of self-inflicted head wounds when we don't get Brian Burke).
- Me, from a post two weeks ago

Well, full credit to the hockey gods. They ball-kicked us much earlier than expected on this one.

Burke is apparently not going anywhere, according to TSN.

Is Oprah right?
Are you a big fat woman?

I remember the episode of Married With Children where Al is looking for an obscure record of a song he can hum but not name. At the end of the episode he finds a store that specializes in exactly what he wants, but they tell him they can't help him. He reacts by looking skyward, smiling knowingly, and asking "Not even this, huh?"

That's how I feel. Not surprised. Not even disappointed, somehow. Just vaguely annoyed at myself for getting suckered in in the first place.

There's a very small part of me that's almost eager to see how badly the Leafs will screw this up now. At least that would bring entertainment value. Who's the worst possible candidate they could settle on? Muckler? Healy? I know, what about bringing Ferguson back? You could make him wear a paper bag with a giant frowny face at all times.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go look for a shaving mirror and a hammer.