A goalie and a goalie-hater debate equipment, interference, bigger nets and more

Let us acknowledge the noble goaltender. The last line of defense, tirelessly doing the thankless work of keeping pucks out of the net, sacrificing their own bodies to block vulcanized rubber fired at upward of 100 miles per hour, all the while knowing that they’ll take the blame for the bad and rarely get the glory for the good. They’re hockey’s unsung heroes, doing the hardest job in all of sports without credit or complaint.

Well… unless they’re just big weird oafs in oversized equipment who are ruining the game we love, robotically sucking the excitement out of the sport in between bouts of flopping and crying about somebody barely brushing up against them in what's supposed to be a contact sport.

That’s the debate. Or at least, it will be today, as two of The Athletic’s hockey writers have decided to go back and forth on various topics from the goaltending world. Jesse Granger is our goaltending expert, who both plays the position himself and breaks down its intricacies for the rest of us. Sean McIndoe is an old man who sits on his couch and complains about things, and he loves the very offense that goalies are there to prevent.

Like Patrick Roy in his prime, they’ve decided that the best way to handle a dispute is to skate out to center ice and duke it out. They got together for five mini-debates, presented below.

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A brief history of the second-team all-star goalie being the NHL’s weirdest award

With a just few weeks left before awards ballots go out, we already know how one of the races will go. Connor Hellebuyck will win the Vezina. And if there’s any justice, the GMs who vote on the award will make it unanimous.

Cool. Now let’s talk about the best goaltending award.

Not the award for best goaltender – I mean the award for goaltending that is the best. The best award, as in the most fun, the most interesting, and also the weirdest.

I’m talking about the second all-star team honors.

Yes, this might be something only I’m interested in. But today, I’m going to try to get you onboard.

Each year, PHWA writers vote to create two all-star teams, which are not to be confused with the (far inferior) teams from the actual all-star game in seasons where the NHL forces us to endure one. These postseason all-star awards are a genuine honor, proof that a player was considered among the very best at his position during that season.

Each of the two teams consist of two defensemen, a center, a left and right winger, and a goalie. The highest vote-getters earn first-team honors, which is the very best of the best of any given year. Then comes the second-team, which is… sometimes interesting.

That’s true at all positions, at least occasionally. Sometimes you’ll see a good-but-not-great player earn second-team honors up front, like Thomas Vanek in 2007 or a 39-year-old Ray Whitney in 2012. Sometimes a lesser-known defenseman will earn the honors, like Lubomir Visnovsky in 2011 or Francois Beauchemin in 2013. But for the most part, a look at the second-team all-star squads are pretty much the names you’d expect – the best of the best, with the occasional exception that proves the rule.

Second-team goalie honors? Those get weird. Or at least, they serve up some names that you might generously call unexpected.

It could happen again this year, with Logan Thompson battling Andrei Vasilevskiy for second-team honors. One of those guys has a Vezina, a Conn Smythe and multiple Cup rings. The other is Logan Thompson, who got traded in the offseason for midround draft picks. He’s probably the favorite.

Why? Because goaltending is weird. And apparently, being the league’s second-best goaltender is especially weird. Let’s remember some guys, who had one year where they were very nearly The Guy.

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NHL weekend rankings: The Wild, the Habs, and the 10 teams we haven't ranked yet

With the calendar about to flip over to April, we’re down to three weeks left in the regular season. And that means we don’t have many of these columns left. The finish line is in sight.

It’s safe to assume that the last few weeks will be dedicated to breaking down the various playoff races, unless every bubble team in the East just voluntarily folds their franchise to avoid landing a spot that it’s clear nobody wants. But in this semi-calm before the storm, a few of you have pointed out that we’ve yet to visit an annual tradition around here: Recognizing the teams that made it through the entire season without ever landing in either the Top of Bottom 5.

This is the true middle-of-the-pack, although as you’ll see, they come in some very different flavors. And this year, the numbers reinforce that in a pleasingly symmetrical way: There have been 11 different teams that showed up in the Top 5, and 11 more than had at least one appearance in the Bottom 5. That leaves us with an even 10 teams that didn’t appear on either list all season long. Let’s divide them into categories.

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Battle of Ontario? Avs vs. Stars? Ranking the best potential first-round matchups

With just a few weeks left in the season, the playoff picture is coming into focus. And while we’re not sure which teams will claim the final wildcard spots in either conference, we’re pretty much locked in on 14 of the 16 playoff teams. That means we can start turning our attention to the potential first-round matchups, and arguing over which ones will be the best.

That’s easy: It’s Dallas vs. Colorado.

Look, I get that some people think this is happening too soon, and that the 1-vs-4 format means that some prime matchups arrive earlier than they should. I get that. But also: This series is going to absolutely rock. I can’t wait.

The downside of that monster meeting looming on the horizon is that other potential matchups can’t compete. But that doesn’t mean that the rest of the first round can’t have a few bangers. So today, let’s go through the series that have at least an 25% chance of happening, based on the calculations from hockeyviz.com as of yesterday afternoon.

We’ll count this down from the fifth best matchup to number one, with an added rule that each team can only appear once. Try not to pass out from the suspense of which matchup will be number one.

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12 of NHL history's greatest record-breaking goals, ranked from worst to best

With the Alex Ovechkin goals chase now down to single digits, it no longer feels like a question of if he’ll break Wayne Gretzky’s mark this season, but rather when.

We’ve already covered that question, a few weeks back. But there’s a second, and maybe even more important question that’s now looming: Will the record-breaking goal be any good?

The NHL is already worrying about this, especially the possibility that the record-breaker falls victim to their very bad and nit-picky replay review system. Other fans have been openly antagonizing the hockey gods with ideas for the most Team Chaos-worthy way the record could fall. (Personally, I’m a big fan of the “Ovechkin has an empty-net look against the Penguins but Sidney Crosby throws his stick for an automatic goal, meaning Sid's the one who actually ‘scores’ the record-breaker” scenario.)

Whatever happens, it will be a cool moment. But how cool? Just in case Ovechkin is looking for inspiration, today’s column is going to look at a dozen historic NHL goals that broke an important record. To be clear, we’re not worried about individual milestones, or important game-winners or sudden death snipes. We want the guys who broke a significant record, did it with a goal, and did it in style. Just like how we all hope Ovechkin will over the next few weeks.

We’ll use a modified version of the scale we established for the goalie goals ranking, with an emphasis on the creativity and/or skill of the goal itself. We’ll go from worst to best, which means there’s really only one pick for 12th spot…

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